up!

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

(via windymiss)

14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?

punkgender:

one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’

no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty

(via backshelfpoet)

nathanieljosephruess:

am i bisexual? am i pansexual? am i gay? well officer mostly i’m just sad

(via saddeers)

wankstyles:

consider this , how the fukc is it september 

(via saddeers)

officialunitedstates:

my favorite part of any trip to mcdonalds is the sudden and unavoidable flashbacks to the time when I got stuck in the slide for 5.5 hours and the staff had to slide down mcnuggets so I could keep up my energy while they cut the slide in half with a hacksaw.  half-slide is still there, haunting me and the other kids who sudden fall through a hole halfway through their journey down

(via gnarlyfisting)

shouldnt:

THE FACT THAT THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC SOCIETY TOLD AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS THAT TEENS SHOULD NOT BE UP BEFORE 8:30 AND ONLY 15% OF SCHOOLS LISTENED ANGERS ME SO MUCH

(via rimatsuoka)